Be Selfish, It Increases Your Value

Have you ever felt like you were being criticized for prioritizing yourself? It is easy for spectators to categorize you as reckless or selfish when you focus your energies on what you want. We are not concerned with the way things should be, but more so concerned with what is best for us. We work hard. We play hard. We travel. We get married “way too young”. We stay single figure out who we are without the direct influence of a significant other. We start blogs because we are convinced that our voices need to be heard. We believe in ourselves and know that we deserve to be happy. Perhaps it would be more fitting to describe the millennial generation as self-confident, or possessing high self-esteem. After all, we have to consider that, in order to operate in the manner described above, we must view ourselves in a positive light. We must value self more than we value others or their opinions in order to truly be selfish. Let’s talk about the effect of our degree of self-esteem on how we treat ourselves.

Defining Self-Esteem

Before we delve into the benefits of valuing self, let’s first define our terms. The term esteem is derived from the Latin word aestimare, meaning, “to estimate” or “appraise”. So when we refer to self-esteem we are referring to how we estimate or value ourselves. Keep in mind that an estimation or appraisal is not necessarily accurate. Therefore the degree, at which we value ourselves, whether positive or negative, might not be 100% accurate.

As with any object, the degree at which we value someone or something, is directly correlated with the manner in which we treat said person or object. As such, if we have a particular view of self, positive or negative, we will treat ourselves in a manner that directly reflects our estimated value of self. When you hold yourself at a lower value, you tend to mistreat yourself. This can manifest itself in poor eating habits, excessive drinking, drug abuse, or the act of constantly putting others needs above your own.

How I increased my self-value

There was a point in time where I did not value myself. I never considered myself to be the girl who had low self-esteem, but my behavior at times has certainly reflected a low estimation in regard to my value of self. I don’t think it was an intentional thing, the poor habits that I formed, but I formed them. I was so caught up in looking cool that I neglected to truly care for myself. I gave up full control of my body by constantly altering my state of mind for no real purpose but to fit in with people who likely had a similar low estimation of their self-value. This led to low quality friendships, lower quality romantic relationships, bad grades and more.

At some point, I realized that I deserved to be treated better. I made a conscious effort to add value back to myself. I did this by improving my diet and exercise habits. I changed the way that I approached problems. I woke up each day and was intentionally happy. At first, it was forced. I pretended to be happy. I spoke positivity into situations whether I believed it or not. I did this solely for my benefit. I did it because sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.

Before making these changes, I had an inaccurate estimated value of self, which caused a mistreatment of self. Typically, when you don’t know the true value of something, you don’t treat it properly. On the other hand, when you treat something of lower value with an intense amount of care, you have the opportunity to maximize the life of that thing. The same is true for self. When you make a conscious effort to treat yourself with an intense amount of care, to put your needs and desires above the needs and desires of others, your estimated value of self will inevitably increase.

The takeaway

Maybe you’re like me; you don’t necessarily consider yourself to have low self-esteem. But perhaps there is a goal that you have been procrastinating working towards. Maybe you want to start exercising more, or improve your diet. Maybe you want to travel to another country. Maybe you want to bring that big idea to life. It isn’t going to happen overnight, but it will happen if you start to make an intentional effort to bringing your goal into fruition. Start by making one small change. You could commit to going to the gym twice a week or ditching the soda and drinking more water. Forego the bars a few nights this month and put the money you save in your travel fund. Find pleasure in the small moments each day. As you do this, you will inevitably increase your estimated value of self. As the estimated value of self increases, you will feel driven to continue to take extra good care of yourself, because, you deserve it!

So go ahead, embrace the stereotype of being selfish. Pursue your goals relentlessly and know that you deserve to obtain them. Remember that selfishness is not possible without a high estimated value of self and how you treat yourself and your goals is a direct reflection of your self-esteem.